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Living Righteously

Rising Above Disappointment

Rising Above Disappointment. In this life, there will be disappointments. There is no way around it. Everyone will experience it at some point in time during this journey called life. Disappointment is defined by Webster as defeated in expectation or hope 2)sad or displeased because someone or something has failed to fulfill one’s hope or expectation. Disappointment can have devasting results on a person’s life if not handled in a positive manner. It can cause you to lose hope, or not believe anything good will come out of your life. It can hinder your growth, naturally and spiritually.

Rising above disappointment. Life is full of ups and downs. We do not always achieve everything we set out to do. Things don’t always go the way we envision it to go. Two people can look at a glass of water and one will see it as half empty and the other as half full. What difference does it make? The perception will impact your thoughts, your thoughts will impact your feelings, your feelings will impact your behavior.

Rising above disappointment. A person perceives the glass to be half empty. This person thought pattern about life is more likely to be one filled with negative thoughts i.e. nothing goes my way, everyone is against me, if it wasn’t for bad luck I wouldn’t have any luck, etc. If that is the thought pattern the feelings attached to that thought more likely include sadness, anger, and/or frustration. These feelings will more likely result in the person engaging in negative behaviors that will only enforce those beliefs, i.e. not pursuing dreams, not giving their best efforts, etc.

Rising above disappointment. A person perceives the glass to be half full. This person thought pattern about life is more likely to be filled with positive thoughts i.e. I am almost there, my goal is within reach, I can do this. The feelings attached to these thoughts are more likely to include, anticipation, an expectation of achievement, strength, happiness, etc. The behavior is more likely to include setting and pursuing goals, going the extra mile, taking chances with the expectation this will work, etc.

Rising above disappointment. Some examples of people who experience disappointment and/or failure are: Albert Einstein didn’t speak until he was four years old. Benjamin Franklin dropped out of school at age ten. Stephen King’s first novel was rejected 30 times. Oprah Winfrey was repeatedly molested but rose above her past to become one of America’s most influential women. Thomas Edison failed 1000 times before achieving success. He reportedly stated. I have not failed. I just found 1000 ways that didn’t work. They did not allow their failures, mistakes, or disappointments to cripple them. They continue to believe they could, they would achieve. They believed life had more to offer and it did.

Rising above disappointment. God has given me the gift of writing. I write poems, blogs, and gospel songs. I am not a singer so I am always looking for ways to get my music to the ears of producers and recording artists. I visit sites where recording artists, tv/radio producers, etc are looking for new materials. During the month of August. I learned that a well-known singer was looking for material for a new album. I submitted several songs. I heard from a well-known producer, Mr. Charles Hester Jr. “CHA-LO”. (Google his name, he is the real thing) that out of the many songs that were submitted, he selected my song “With Every Breath” to submit to this artist.

Rising above disappointment. I was very excited, to say the least. I believed in God for this open door. I stood on the word of God. I confessed the favor of God i.e. I’m surrounded by the favor of God, No good thing will be withheld from me, I delight myself in God, It is God’s good pleasure to give me the desires of my heart, etc. I had a few trusted intercessors stand in the gap with me.

Rising above disappointment. About a week ago, I learned that the song had been presented to the artist but she did not choose it for her album. I was very, very disappointed to say the least. How could this happen? I believed, I did not doubt I confessed the word of God. Immediately, Satan was in my ear. Faith without works is dead, how did you think you had a chance? You will never make it as a songwriter. You may as well stop wasting time and money during a demo. (Making demos of songs does not come cheap)Then he reminded me of things I have on the altar that has not yet manifested. Oh, yeah it was a real pity party. But Wait.

Rising above disappointment. The Holy Spirit has a voice too and begins to speak. This producer not only listened to my songs but he made encouraging comments on those I submitted. I don’t know him, he is not a friend, or acquaintance and I have no connection with him. He thought this song was good enough to introduce it to this singer! This well-known established singer Listened to my song. My name was on the lips of this producer and singer! Hey, the favor of God does surround me as a shield. As I continue to love and worship the giver and not the gift, God will give me the desires of my heart. Whew, I am ENCOURAGED. THANK YOU, HOLY SPIRIT.

Rising above disappointment. Don’t let disappointment cripple you, sabotage your future, take away your hope and dreams. Reassess, Reset, Rethink, Reexamine, take a deep breath, take a moment, dust your self off and start over. I love the quote of Thomas Edison. I did not fail. I just found 1000 ways that did not work. So I say, I did not fail. It may have been the wrong door. I will choose another door,

Speak the answer not the problem. The answer is the word of God. Heavenly Father, I thank you for your goodness, mercy, kindness, and faithfulness to me. I may not understand the whys or the reasons. I know that your ways are not my ways and your thoughts are not mine. They are much higher than mine. You are the only one that knows my end from the beginning. All of my time is in your hands and you know the seasons of my life. You are the author and finisher of my life. I trust your plans and desires for my life because you are perfecting those things that concern me and you are making good plans for me. Help me to embrace your will, and your plans and continue to be in a place of loving, trusting, and worshipping you. I have learned down through the years that your will is best. For this cause, I bow my knees and worship you, knowing that all power belongs to you. I’m secure in your love and wait with pregnant expectation for the manifestation of your promises.

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Living Righteously

Journey Through Grief (part 4)

Well, it has been quite a journey.  This grief journey is not one that we want to take but it is inevitable.  Let’s do a quick review of the 5 stages of grief.  They are:

  •  Denial: This can not be happening, it is not real.
  • Anger: Why me, why now, it is unfair, they didn’t deserve this.
  • Bargaining: If I had only done this, I wish I had…
  • Depression: I am so hurt, so sad, so lonely
  • Acceptance: I can’t change it but I must go on

Before I talk about the stage of acceptance, I want to briefly cover complicated grief.  The word complicated is defined as something that has many parts and is difficult to analyze, understand or explain. The Mayo Clinic describes it this way “Complicated grief is like being in an ongoing, heightened state of mourning that keeps you from healing.  https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/complicated-grief/symptoms-causes/syc-20360374. I suggest you take the time to read the entire article and others on this subject.

The arrival of Covid 19 shut down cities and out ability to function in our usual manner.  It affected the way we grieve our loved ones in terms of gathering to say goodbye, the viewing,the homegoing service, other gathering and so on.  Additiomnally, many families experience the deaths of more than one family member at  the result of this virus. Some as many of 3 or more.

WOW. Grief is difficult enough to deal with but so many,so close together. WOW. How do you cope with that? Before, you can comprehend the death of one, there is yet another.  People were not only dealing with Covid 19 deaths but there seem to be a surge in violence as well.

It may feel like the wind has been knocked out of you.  It may feel like your life has been shattered and your heart has been broken in so many pieces.  How do I go on? YOU MUST GO ON.

ACCEPTANCE.  You must come to the place of acceptance.  It is done, it has happened, this is real and there is nothing I can do to change it. How long must I grieve.  There is no right or wrong way to grieve. However, the Bible does indicate that we should not stay in the place of grief. Josh 1:[1] Now after the death of Moses the servant of the LORD it came to pass, that the LORD spake unto Joshua the son of Nun, Moses’ minister, saying,

[2] Moses my servant is dead; now therefore arise, go over this Jordan, thou, and all this people, unto the land which I do give to them, even to the children of Israel. Indicates we must move on with life. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to cry and a time to laugh. 

Isaiah 61:3 – To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion, to give unto them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they might be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified.

I remind you as I remind myself I must accept what is and move on to what will be.  I must create new memories and keep trusting God.  

Things you can do to help yourself:

  • Go out.  Visit family and friends you have not seen in awhile
  • Call families and friends check on them in terms of how they are coping
  • Rearrange the furniture in the home.  This creates a new space.
  • Start new traditions or ways of doing things.

I have two scriptures for you to meditate on. Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Psalm 56; What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee. 4 In God I will praise his word, in God I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh can do unto me.

SPEAK THE ANSWER NOT THE PROBLEM.  THE ANSWER IS THE WORD OF GOD.  YOU ARE YOUR WORD.  Heavenly Father, we come boldly to your throne to obtain help in our time of need.  Your word declares you are our refuge, our hiding place, and the source of our strength.  When the enemy whisper in our ears that we are weak your word declares that you are our strength, the lifter up of our heads, the one that sends the comforter along to help us.  You bind up our wounded spirits and heal our brokenness.  You come to make us whole again.  Increase our faith level that we will learn to trust you whenever fear would try to consume us. Fear of being alone and lonely, fear of feeling so vulnerable and helpless. We stand on your word that you are a present help in our time of need.  That means you are right here, right now at this very moment God.  Help us to walk through this journey trusting in you each step of the way to hold our trembling hands, to lead us step-by-step.  We believe when the journey becomes too rough for us, that you will then pick us up and carry us through the storm.  What an amazing God you are, how faithful, kind and loving.  You know just what we need and when we need it. Holy Spirit lead us to the secret place where we will find, rest, peace, and joy. Help us to be obedient to your word Rejoice, again I say Rejoice.  Help us to know this too will pass, we will have joy again. Therefore, Heavenly Father, we say thank you for being our God, our source of strength and hope. In the name of Jesus, we do make this request. 

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Living Righteously

Journey Through Grief (Part 3)

Welcome as we travel through the journey of grief together.  Let’s do a quick review of the 5 stages of grief; according to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

  •  Denial: This can not be happening, it is not real.
  • Anger: Why me, why now, it is unfair, they didn’t deserve this.
  • Bargaining: If I had only done this, I wish I had…
  • Depression: I am so hurt, so sad, so lonely
  • Acceptance: I can’t change it but I must go on.

I am going to talk today about bargaining and depression.  What is bargaining? This stage is where your mind is struggling with the death of your loved one.  Your thought pattern goes to all the things you wished you had done and did not do. Be careful this can be an open door for Satan to come in and do damage. For example, if I had only told him to start that treatment earlier. If I had not been so angry with them when I left the house. If only I had come straight home instead of going shopping etc.

There are many things in life that are beyond our control. We have to learn to accept it, deal with it or make adjustments.  Satan will, if you allow him to do so, put you in a trap of second-guessing your every action, motive, and move.  Don’t let your life become filled with regret. Regret serves no purpose. God is in control so if it happens a certain way then there is a purpose for it.  

Can Christians be depressed? Absolutely.  What is depression? A mood disorder that affects how your think, feel, and act.  Symptoms include a change in your behavior etc. eating too much or too little, sleeping too much or too little, gaining or losing weight, and a loss of interest in the things that you were usually interested in.  it is natural for anyone facing the death of a loved one to experience sadness and emptiness. It is natural to shed tears. It does not make you weak or crazy to do so.

Once again, be careful though.  It can be an opportunity for Satan to come in.  Do not allow Depression to become your friend.  Don’t become comfortable with grief and allow it to be your friend.  

I have talked about steps to help you walk through this journey of grief such as journaling, engaging in activities to help others, using art, etc. But today, I am going to share with you the thing that has always helped and is helping me through this journey.  WORSHIP. God is still worthy of praise and honor. So every time sadness and depression is coming your way start worshiping. MEDITATE on the word of God.  Use your weapon of praise and worship.  These are weapons to put in your arsenal.  

Here we go.

  •  Job 1;20 Then Job arose, and rent his mantle, and shaved his head, and fell down upon the ground, and worshipped,.
  • PSALM 30;11 Thou hast turned for me my mourning into dancing: thou hast put off my sackcloth, and girded me with gladness;
  • Matthew 5:4  “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”
  • Psalm 46:1-2  “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.  Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea.”
  • Isaiah 43:2  “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.”
  • Matthew 11:28  “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
  • Deu 4;31 Amplified Bible
  • For the LORD your God is a merciful and compassionate God; He will not fail you, nor destroy you, nor forget the covenant with your fathers which He swore to them.

SPEAK THE ANSWER NOT THE PROBLEM. THE ANSWER IS THE WORD OF GOD.

Heavenly Father, we come before your throne to obtain help, mercy, and grace in our time of need.  Your word tells us that you are a present help and we need you to be just that to us as we journey through grief. Your word gives us strength when we are weak, hope in hopeless times, joy unspeakable, and peace that passes understanding. Holy Spirit help us to pour out our hearts to the father, interpret our moans and groans. We ask you to hold our trembling hands, lead us on, don’t let us fall. We are determined to make it through this storm and we are grateful for great is your faithfulness to us, your enduring love, and your grace. Give us more grace, father, we stand on your word, your grace is sufficient. For this cause, we bend our knees, lift up our hands and open our mouths to worship you.  Thank you for loving us the way you do.   

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