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Journey Through Grief

Journey Through Grief

This is the first part of a series I will be doing dealing with grief.  We are in a season that we have never experienced before being surrounded by Death. Death is never a welcome guest. Not even when it is expected and even more when it is not expected.  Yet death is part of living.  Each day we live brings us closer to death. To everything, there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:2 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;3 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;4 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; Eccl 3:1-4

So death is part of living.  Death does not come alone.  One of his companions is Grief. When you hear the word grief most will automatically think sorrow, pain, hurt, anger and frustration.  This is true even when it is job-related, divorce, loss of an animal, loss of friendship, or loss of health.

No matter how often we experience this grief the process is different each time. Each person even in sharing grief as when a family member dies experience will be different and unique to them.  Yet grief is a subject we seldom discuss and even though we experience it, we still struggle with understanding it.  

My background and role as a clinical therapist allow me to understand intellectually the stages of grief.  Emotional understanding and acceptance are different.  I have lost several relatives in my lifetime including aunts, uncles, cousins, my Dad, mom, brother, and in the last 5 months my husband, Michael.  

Michael and I  met in 1973 and marry Jan 15, 1977.  Until death do we part. I never envision my life without him.  Oh yes, we had ups and down, threaten to leave, headed for divorce, came back together again but I never envisioned being a widower.  I am going to share with you my thoughts on grief and my journey through this grief.  

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross wrote a book On Death and Dying where she describes the 5 stages of grief as follows:

  •  Denial: This can not be happening, it is not real.
  • Anger: Why me, why now, it is unfair, they didn’t deserve this.
  • Bargaining: If I had only done this, I wish I had…
  • Depression: I am so hurt, so sad, so lonely
  • Acceptance: I can’t change it but I must go on.

The word of God declares: “But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep [dead], that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13 As Christians we are not immune from grief. What we do have is the comforter. God promises to send us the comforter.  We do have hope. Jesus Christ is the hope of our glory in us. 

The night before Michael passed, I woke up and went into his room (I had transformed the dining room into a hospital setting). When I open our bedroom door and looked at him he was moving his hand as in beckoning or as I look back now, waving goodbye.  I went and sat beside him told him I loved him, talked to him for a while (at this stage he was not communicating by speech). I told him I am tired and I am going back to bed.  I kissed him on the forehead and went back to my room.  

I said to God, he is so weak. God help me to not ask for things when I don’t know what I am asking. I had asked God to let him live to my birthday in July. Selfish, not considering what he wanted just that I didn’t want him to leave me. I said God I embraced your will.  I know you promised to not leave nor forsake me. I trust you to comfort and keep me.  The next morning, Michael had made his transition.  

As believers, we have the comforter, Holy Spirit, we have Christ the Hope of Glory residing within us and we have his promise that he will not leave nor forsake us.  

SPEAK THE ANSWER NOT THE PROBLEM. THE ANSWER IS THE WORD OF GOD AND YOU ARE THE WORD. Heavenly Father, we lift up every bereaved person that they may receive your comforting power and amazing love. We bind up heavy depression, pain and mourning, weeping and unbearable pain.  We receive your peace as you wrapped us in your arms and saturate our being.  We trust you to carry us through this storm.  We trust your promise to wipe away every tear and lift up our bowed down head in the name of Jesus.  

Be Bless and receive the comfort of the Holy Spirit

watch for the next blog.

By Yvonne Perkins

Mrs. Yvonne Perkins is a devoted wife and has been married for over 40 years. She is the mother of two adult children and three grandchildren. She obtained her BA in human services and MA in counseling from Chicago State University.

Mrs.Perkins worked in the Child Welfare System for 21 years rising through the ranks from clerical to assistant supervisor. She worked in various roles i.e. intact worker, placement worker, adoption, and guardianship worker. She received the Worker of the Year award, Adoption worker award, and other recognition for her service to children and families in the Child Welfare system..

Upon retiring from the Child Welfare System, and obtaining her LPC license, Mrs. Perkins embarked on a new journey in the mental health field. For several years she worked with the mentally ill in an inpatient settings. She went on to become a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and worked in the private sector providing individual and family counseling to adoptive and guardianship parents and children.

Mrs.Perkins was raised in a godly home and attributes her prayer life to her upbringing. She relates that she was often awakened early in the morning to the sound of her mother, Mamie Marshall praying on the phone with her prayer partners. She is grateful, that her father, Bossie Marshall was always in the home.

She states that Apostle Richard D.Henton set the foundation for her salvation. Her family was the second family to join Monument of Faith when Pastor Henton opened up his church at 6848 S. Racine. Mrs.Perkins is an active member of this church and a trained soul-winner.

Mrs. Perkins worked as a volunteer with Evangelist Rose Mary Blackwell in the Standing In The Gap Ministry for over 20 years. Her first assignment was to prepare handouts and greet the people at the door. She later became one of the armor-bearers to Prophetess Blackwell. She received her training as an intercessor under this ministry, was mentored by Prophetess Rose Mary Blackwell and her sister, Evangelist Margaret Ann Harrison. For 16 years, Mrs, Perkins facilitate the training of intercessors in this ministry, facilitated the weekly prayer service at various locations as well as the monthly Corporate Prayer Service. Mrs. Perkins is also one of the facilitators for the weekly prayer conference line facilitating 3 of those weekly services. The prayer line started by Evangelist Vickie Pendleton to undergird the Standing In The Gap Ministry. She invites you to join the prayer line daily at 1 712 770-5603 code 272325 at 5:00 a.m.

2 replies on “Journey Through Grief”

I bless God for your transparency; as you reflect on your feelings then and now the chains will be broken and every spirit of heaviness lifted off your shoulders. You’re Strong in the Lord Jesus Christ. God bless you and all you do for God’s people.

Bless you, Woman of God. I believe a lot of people are struggling with anger in this season, even angry with God. I want to help them to understand that the God we serve is big and allows us our anger while still waiting to comfort us.

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